I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
