Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
