i'm signing you up for texting rehab
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
