True but thats because hes a fetus.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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