I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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