D3 body, D1 cock
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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