I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize