I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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