Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
