Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Never joke about your clitoris.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
