Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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