I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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