I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
my liver is dry heaving
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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