yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize