I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
