Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
