I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
