she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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