remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
