we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
