I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
