I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
