Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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