birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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