The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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