the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
foreskin is a definite game changer
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
