I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
