nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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