morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
