i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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