I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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