It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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