3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my liver is dry heaving
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
