what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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