Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
