You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
