Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
