butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
