i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
