we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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