So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
