LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my shit smells like andre
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
