Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
