Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
