um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
