We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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