Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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