you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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