I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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