with your own penis?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
