It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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