im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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