Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
