i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
