I wannas sexs uuuuu
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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