You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
