How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
