If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
