Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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