i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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