we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
