Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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