shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Please don't give away my fajitas
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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