you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
