I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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