She is in my trunk
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
