yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize