so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
