and you said cock pushups were impossible
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize