Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
