I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize