can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
