he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
