Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
