Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
