I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i think i scared a bird with my dick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
