belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
