walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
