he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
