Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
