Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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